dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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