If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
