Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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