Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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