so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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