maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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