I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
