Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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