So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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