addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
