If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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