I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
