my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
