I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
