we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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