Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
