she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
