I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
