I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
