Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
