first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
