For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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