Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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