Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
