I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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