Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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