he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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