Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
