If that was your dad, he is hot
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
