The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
