Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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