Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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