Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
