were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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