I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
