I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
