Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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