I don't think brook has ever known best
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
