Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
