i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
