He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Do vagina's smell?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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