god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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