I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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