I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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