you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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