WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
