Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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