When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
