we have pet lesbian snakes
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
