Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
