seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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