Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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