what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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