he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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