Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
cat food counts as protein by the way
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
