Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
