If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
