Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
