I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
