there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
