before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
