I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it's great music for shaving your balls
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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