Please, let me fuck your mom
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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