hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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