it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize