Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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